There was a time when ABBA were considered to be the ultimate in seventies' Eurotrash tackiness. The Carpenters were regarded as soft and bloodless — and, worst of all, they were so establishment that they went to the White House to meet Richard Nixon (though so did Duke Ellington). The Monkees were seen as manufactured pop inanity. The Archies were disliked so much that they didn't even factor as snobby music critics' whipping boys. Yet, the influence of Rolling Stone magazine could only go so far. To one extent or another, all four have been accorded much more favourable critical re-evaluations since roughly the nineties.
Which leaves...well, plenty of other pop acts hoping for a boost to their legacies. Late eighties'/early nineties' teen pop sensations Bros (mostly a UK concern; their name rhymes with 'floss' rather than 'rose') and New Kids on the Block have so far not been favourably re-appraised, even though they had a significant impact on the likes of Take That, Westlife, Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. The same goes for Paul Anka, Frankie Avalon and even Cliff Richard, even though they were all instrumental in keeping the pop industry afloat during the pre-Beatles' interregnum of the early sixties. The leading bubblegum groups like Paul Revere and the Raiders and 1910 Fruitgum Company have mostly been left out, proving that the poptimists would rather re-consider the merits of fake groups rather than real ones.
The Osmonds are yet another bright and shiny pop act who were looked down upon by critics at the time and who are still waiting for second chance to make a first impression. They may have to wait a while longer. "One Bad Apple" is likely the best they'd ever do and that's only because they were doing an unabashed Jackson 5 ripoff. Perhaps not wishing to hammer the whitewashing home, they proceeded to record a series of bland, middle-of-the-road numbers that perfectly suited such a bland, middle-of-the-road group of brothers. Unfortunately, they aren't very good but that's — sadly — for future reviews of the Ogden, Utah family act.
In any case, it's clear even from their one passable pop hit why the re-evaluations haven't been forthcoming. Thieving from the Jacksons would be bad enough but they don't even do it very well. Donny Osmond was ahead of his time in one regard: he would be the first of many to try (and fail) at capturing Michael Jackson's lightning in a bottle. He was two years Michael's senior so maybe it was puberty but whatever it was, he simply didn't have the range. The playing is a little clunky too. Then, there's the other Osmonds: Alan, Wayne, the other one, the other other one. Try as they might to sound like Tito, Jackie, Jermaine and Marlon (See? I only had to double check their names, not look them up half-a-dozen times only to keep forgetting them all), they just end up sounding more like members of the barbershop quartet they had always been. Even the song itself it third rate compared to gems like "I Want You Back" and "ABC": I guess if you're going to copy someone badly you might as well go all in with it.
ABBA, The Carpenters, The Monkees and even the bloody Archies all had pop craft backing them up. You could dismiss how they looked, how they were presented, what they stood for and even what was at the heart of their material but there was no denying that there was genuine human talent involved, whether on stage or behind the scenes. The same can't be said for The Osmonds. While nowhere near as deplorable as someone like Pat Boone, they were his seventies' equivalent. (That is until we get to Debby Boone) Credit to them for not being horrible which just about the best that can be said. So, yeah, the critical re-appraisal is not happening. As for Bros and New Kids, you never know...
