Simon and Garfunkel: "Bridge Over Troubled Water"

March 14, 1970 (4 weeks)

He sits there in the shadows, vulnerable, a man with little in the way of hope. Being alone on the cover of their latest single must have symbolized the fraying relationship between cover star Paul Simon and his longtime partner Art Garfunkel. As the angelic-voiced half of the duo hogged the limelight on "Bridge Over Troubled Water", the song's composer could only look on glumly. While Garfunkel got all the attention, the man who did the heavy lifting was practically being forgotten in real time.

(In reality, the photo on the single's flip side is one of Garfunkel all by himself. Rather than looking forlorn, however, he is all business, ready to sing into a mic as his headphones try in vain to mat his trademark afro. Is Simon staring in disbelief at his mate's professionalism?)

Nothing of the sort happened but what difference does that make when you're a highly skilled songwriter who happens to be incredibly thin-skinned? I would say "if only he could see into a future of gold records and critical acclaim held up next to Garfunkel's more short lived success followed by years of being the butt end of jokes" but it seems Simon still feels this way. All his one time friend did was sing a note perfect rendition of what would become their most famous song and the other one (who, lest we forget, has made a fortune in royalties ever since) remains sore over it. Some people, eh?

It's a funny old thing about these sorts of uplifting, secular hymns and how much tension came as the result of them. Or maybe I'm looking at them the wrong way: the tension already existed and it brought about songs like "Bride Over Troubled Water". (Yeah, that makes more sense) And with lines like "And friends just can't be found" it would seem a safe bet that troubles between Simon and Garfunkel had been simmering for a while.

Given what we know now, it seems easy to take Simon's side in this whole thing. Even still, say what you will about Garfunkel's silly hair and his mediocre solo career and his apparent inability to write a song of his own (even if he never claimed to be interested in doing so) but he's the one who makes "Bridge Over Troubled Water". Obviously Simon did his part and then some but the man simply wasn't up to taking the lead himself. (Garfunkel is said to have preferred what his partner did on an early demo but I can't imagine anyone agreeing with this assessment since it sounds like a rough cut of promising song in need of the right vocalist)

Luckily, the right vocalist was doubtless standing just a few feet away from a (probably) resentful Simon. While many other standards inevitably become dwarfed by their original and/or definitive rendition, "Bridge Over Troubled Water" has been covered very successfully by a number of accomplished singers. Aretha Franklin's version is stunning, Johnny Cash's is surprisingly delicate. Yet none of them come even close to the way Garfunkel takes the listener on a masterclass ride of vocal skills. He's practically whispering in its earliest stages and you're left turning up the volume only to realize that it's still a strain to hear him. "When you're weary, feeling small": and he sure as hell sounds like it. Even as its near five minutes of running time churns along, the temptation to just belt it out was avoided. It's as if in promising to be that bridge, he was also communicating a need for some support of his own.

Barring the odd reunion, Simon and Garfunkel went out on the highest of high notes. Their final studio album of the same name is probably their most well-rounded in terms of both song quality and sequencing. No fewer than four of its eleven tracks made the charts with all of them — in addition to "Bridge Over Troubled Water", they also put out "The Boxer", "Cecilia" and "El Condor Pasa (If I Could)" — hitting the Top 5 of the RPM hit parade. (Four may seem like a modest number compared to Michael Jackson's obnoxious practice of issuing seven or eight per album but it was basically without precedence back in 1970) And this was the biggest hit they'd ever have. One wrote simple yet poignant verses and melody while the other set about proving that his delivery was the best in the business. Everyone did their part but not everyone was satisfied but at least virtually everyone else ended up enjoying it.

Score: 9

Simon and Garfunkel: "Mrs. Robinson"

May 18, 1968 (2 weeks)

There's a story that Joe DiMaggio once confronted Paul Simon over the reference to him having "left and gone away". Joltin' Joe was still alive and was seen on TV commercials and was still a figure of some significance, particularly in New York where he starred for the Yankees. Simon is said to have responded that this line was more to do with there being no heroes left (and, since the Yankee Clipper was shilling on TV, he couldn't have been much of one anymore) right when the United States of America needed one. 

(Was Joe DiMaggio a hero? I mean, he gave up three years of his Hall-of-Fame baseball career to serve in the US armed forces but his main role was to play exhibition games to entertain the troops. His remarkable fifty-six game hitting streak in particular and all-star career in general ensured he'd be a much-admired player. So, too, was his $100,000 contract with the Yankees and his marriage to Marilyn Monroe but none of this is particularly heroic. Still, I suppose if the public views someone as a hero then that's what they become whether it's deserved or not)

Yes, America in 1968 was evidently lacking a hero for the country to rally around at a crucial time. Muhammad Ali? Yeah, fuck that guy apparently. Oh but he was a divisive figure! No, he stood up for what he believed in and then the establishment came after him. They were the divisive ones. New Yorkers like Paul Simon have a tendency to fail to see beyond their vast hometown where DiMaggio may not have been as revered. Plus, even within the five boroughs there were plenty of fans of the Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants who may not have had the same esteem that Yankee fans had for him. Yes, DiMaggio was (and remains) respected and even beloved but I'm not sure he was much of a unifying force to begin with. (With all that said, could a national hero have done much in the sixties? Neil Armstrong would set foot on the Moon a year after this and his great feat didn't exactly do anything to end polarization)

There is a point to all this, I promise. One of Simon's weaknesses as a lyricist was the way he would hammer through all kinds of theories and notions all the while ending up in a dense fog of incomprehensibility. Yet, when he could be understood, his ideas felt hollow. Much of "Mrs. Robinson" dwells in vagueries about a "pantry with your cupcakes" and "going to the candidate's debate" which may have a poetic ring to them but are otherwise empty calories. Bob Dylan and John Lennon could get away with nonsense verse because there was typically something for listeners to grasp onto. (Dylan's "Positively 4th Street" is supposedly about someone known to the singer-songwriter but it really doesn't matter since many will identify with its feelings of resentment) Simon, by contrast, seemed to trade in pseudo-intellectualisms that I may admire but seldom connect with.

Troublesome lyrics aside, there is one more thing to "Mrs. Robinson" that turns me off a little: its length. While four minutes doesn't seem like much and there are two vastly longer Canadian number ones coming up, Simon's distinctive acoustic guitar riff really does wear out its welcome after the third or fourth go round of the chorus. And what's with the twenty seconds or so of absent-minded soloing at the end? Had Simon and Garfunkel struggled to bring it to a satisfying conclusion or were they signalling that the bloody thing could've gone on even longer?

I could bitch at length over my distaste for Paul Simon — and, believe me, I have — but there's lots to like about Simon and Garfunkel at their very best. "Mrs. Robinson" is nearly there but it is neither as engaging as their early work nor as impressive as much of what makes up their masterpiece Bridge Over Troubled Water. (Some cite Bookends as the better LP but I respectfully disagree even though the track "America" absolutely slaps) If I am only half-paying attention then it's a pretty great song. I'll always prefer to sing along with "The Boxer" but I can get into "Mrs. Robinson" in spite of myself. I could stand to learn from a pair of New York elites on not being such a rotten snob, you know.

Score: 6