It was on Boxing Day, 1967 that the British public received a shock to the system: they discovered that The Beatles weren't infallible. Their hour-long feature film Magical Mystery Tour baffled millions of viewers with its surrealism and lack of plot. The group's plan was to board a bus with a collection of actors, friends, musicians and circus performers and film whatever happened along the way. "Unfortunately", as Malcolm McDowell in the classic eighties' documentary The Compleat Beatles put it, "nothing did".
Magical Mystery Tour was considered to be The Beatles' folly. The BBC, who showed it, faced minimal, if any, backlash. It was perhaps with this in mind that they agreed to broadcast yet another oddball film also starring a pop group, the Bee Gees' Cucumber Castle on the day after Christmas, 1970. Though a clear (if very flimsy) storyline is present, it may well be worse than Magical Mystery Tour. The Beatles had some decent music to keep them afloat while the brothers Gibb were floundering creatively. Whatsmore, their numbers were reduced with Robin having left the group following the fallout caused by Odessa, their one true album masterpiece. Whether a trio or a duo, the Bee Gees weren't John Lennon or Ringo Starr when it came to screen presence. They weren't even Paul McCartney. At best they were a band of George Harrisons which was problematic since one was more than enough. (Charismatic actress Eleanor Bron was part of a talented but underutilized Cucumber Castle cast; she had previously been in The Beatles' pointless and silly 1965 film Help!, another deeply flawed picture that is nevertheless superior to the Bee Gees' debut motion picture)
The funny thing is, Cucumber Castle didn't harm their reputation all that much. Their popularity had already begun to wane in the UK (despite recent number two hits for both the Barry-Maurice incarnation — "Don't Forget to Remember" — and for Robin's solo career — "Saved by the Bell") while their stock in North America as reliable soft rock hitmakers remained largely unchanged. While the BBC's flagship channel put Magical Mystery Tour on the air, it was left to poor cousin BBC2 to deal with the Bee Gees' cinematic endeavour. Being a ratings bonanza, The Beatles ended up embarrassing themselves in front of more or less an entire nation; on the other hand, since few bothered tuning into Cucumber Castle, Barry and Maurice faced little in the way of blowback. (It's likely that their second foray into the cinematic world overshadowed their first since it's even more unbearably awful)
Cucumber Castle's plot of a king on his deathbed splitting his realm in two so his two sons could each rule which only caused a rift seemed to mirror that of the Bee Gees. While Robin's departure was long enough for everyone to notice, Barry and Maurice would also split from each other. It was only because of manager Robert Stigwood that the battlin' brothers would find a way back to each other with even Robin rejoining. If there were longterm solo careers to be mined from their ranks, they weren't yet ready — and, as it would turn out, they never really would be. By the time Cucumber Castle premiered on British TV, the Gibbs had managed to find their way back to one another.
The Bee Gees seemingly hadn't been away for any length of time and they were already embarking on a comeback. It would be the first of many. In the short term, it was as if they had never come apart and had never been away. "Lonely Days" was, surprisingly, their first Top 5 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 and their third number one smash on the RPM hit parade. (It did less well in Britain, being their lowest charting single since "To Love Somebody" failed to reach the Top 40 back in 1967) In retrospect, however, it may have been wise to have kept a low profile, delaying their ultimate return a few more months.
Rather than being re-energized, "Lonely Days" only confirms that this was an outfit that had run out of ideas — or, better yet, had ideas aplenty but had no idea what to do with them. Their ambition remained but the at times stirring pop of old had vanished. Cut to a trim two minutes or so it would have been a passable attempt at reviving what they once had but at nearly double that length it just becomes an irritant. A reminder that their strained relations made the Bee Gees' story was often far more interesting than much of the music they recorded. It would be a while before they'd even get back to their old mediocre ways.
Score: 3
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