The Union Gap: "Young Girl"

April 20, 1968 (1 week)

So let's try to be as generous as possible. This guy knows what's been going on is wrong. He wants this young girl to go home to her mother so she can get on with the rest of her life and he can act like nothing happened. He's blaming himself at least as much as he's blaming her. (As the "get out of my mind" line in the chorus implies, he's responsible for his own thoughts) He didn't intend to be such a giant creep.

I shall now refute much of my generosity. Knowing it's wrong really doesn't make it any better and in fact takes what could plausibly be adjudicated a serious mental health issue and turns it into a straightforward crime. While going home would probably do her some good, this advice places the bulk of the responsibility on her shoulders. Sure, he blames himself for having some disturbing thoughts but she's still the one causing them. Creeps are seldom self-aware.

"Young Girl" makes for an uncomfortable listen in this day and age. Actually, it's hard to believe this hasn't always been the case but I can recall hearing it on sixties radio as a kid and not noticing just how inappropriate it is. I didn't care for it back then either but that was just because I couldn't stand the sound of Gary Puckett's overblown operatic voice. Now, it is perhaps the least offensive aspect of "Young Girl".

Like Anita Bryant's unbearable "Paper Roses", The Union Gap's biggest international hit would be an easy thing to crap all over even if it wasn't such a bad song; the fact that it is the shits to listen to is a bonus. While not quite as dreadful — Puckett's over-singing is still preferable to Bryant's ghastly excuse for a voice — it is still just as unnecessary to have around anymore. There are at least a couple more crappy Union Gap singles that oldies radio can play instead. It was a different time? It sure was — and that's precisely why we can happily leave "Young Girl" in the past where it belongs.

Score: 2

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Hey! Where's...

I've been phasing out these extras of late but it's fun to occasionally bring them back. While it's hardly a chart injustice or anything but it's notable to see The Beatles stuck at number two while a pair of lousy singles had the top spot. "Lady Madonna" had been in the runner up spot while The Monkee's were in first place with "Valleri" and it remained there for "Young Girl". While hardly the Fab Four's finest work, it's still a rousing number with nifty fifties' piano work from Paul McCartney. Released while The Beatles were off in Rishikesh, India studying Transcendental Meditation and unknowingly entering their last act, it's a step up from the mediocre "Hello, Goodbye" but still not close to their peak. I tend to think it should've been released as an E.P. along with "Across the Universe", "The Inner Light" and "Hey Bulldog" which would've made for a more satisfying package. Meanwhile, coming up short no doubt gave the critics yet another chance to theorize over The Beatles going downhill. Relax guys, it won't be long now.