Bird and Dizzy, in a bit o' tizzy
Tryin' to play their solos so fast,
Roach and Blakey, gettin' kind of achy
Worried that the money won't last
In a jazz club, Bud played and played
And once in a while he even got laid
Monk and Miles quarrel over styles
A young Trane, he's way too green
And everyone played real mean
Except Prez and Bean
"Creeque Alley" ought to be the sort of song that's ripe for parody. With rhyming that clearly didn't cost writers John and Michelle Phillips (aka 'John and Michi': yes, they wrote themselves into it because of course they did) any brain cells, it kind of reminds me of the "Diarrhea Song" that we used to sing and try to make up verses to on the playground in elementary school ("when you're swimming in a pool and you feel something cool", "when you're driving in a chevy and you feel something heavy", etc., etc.). Surely I can't be the first person to make fun of all the bloody name dropping, can I?
Noel and Liam, you'd have to see 'em
Acting like a pair of old fools
Justine and Damon, lookin' for some fame in
Bein' the couple who broke all the rules
Jarvis, he mooned at the Brits
And after that he ran out of hits
Suede did not seem to care
And all in Britpop did fair
Except poor Menswear
Or maybe I am? While "Creeque Alley" had been a Top 10 hit in a number of countries, it hasn't really remained a part of the public consciousness in the years since. The idea that "Monday, Monday" would have been a bigger hit at the time than "California Dreamin'" surprises a lot of people but surely this fun but inconsequential single outpacing — at least in some territories — what is The Mamas and the Papas best known song is far more of a shock. Or what of "Dedicated to the One I Love" or "Dream a Little Dream", Mama Cass' two signature numbers? I thought the masses were suckers for slushy love songs. Yet, they opted to send this to the top of the Canadian charts instead. Though not terribly likely, it's possible that some might find my verses here to be amusing but for the fact that they've never heard "Creeque Alley" before.
Suga and J-Hope, seemingly cannot cope
With never being the Fab Four
Lisa and Jennie, made a pretty penny
But they'd really like to have a lot more
At Dongshin, Beast got their start
They got big, then they fell apart
IU and Suzy, still a pair o' cutties
In K-Pop you need to look thin
And everyone doesn't appear too shabby
Except Psy, he's flabby!
Okay, these lyrics don't exactly write themselves, so credit to John and Michelle for fashioning a tidy narrative around such a silly concept. Finishing off each of these parody verses is the tricky part. Did I choose bad subjects to immortalize? Jazz musicians from the be-bop period (except for Coleman 'Bean' Hawkins and Lester 'Prez' Young, since they were older and more rooted in the big bands which is why they didn't play so "mean"), some of the Britpop stars (and Menswear) and the KPop icons (along with Beast, who were very much the Menswear of Korean popular music) No, I think they're all good categories. Honestly, it's mostly down to me. I haven't really kept up my chops as a comedy songwriter so no wonder I'm slipping. On the other hand, if I had something more inspiring to work off of, I might have had better results. This entry doesn't say much for my talents but I'm not sure it does John and Michelle Phillips any favours either. Still, at least Mama Cass Elliot and Denny Doherty were present and correct: if nothing else could save a ropy Mamas and Papas single, their sparkling voices could go a long way.
LIps and Zoot, they seem kinda cute
Though they can't seem to open their eyes
Floyd said to Jan, "Hold on there man"
"We'll play whatever Dr Teeth decides"
Rowlf's not even part of the group
And as for Clifford, he flew the coupe
Animal should be in a cage
Although his drumming is all the rage
And everyone was a pro on the Muppet Show
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem?!? Okay, I think I've made my point. Assuming I even had one.
Score: 5
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