The Royal Guardsmen: "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron"

January 14, 1967 (3 weeks)

Over the last few years, Snoopy has become a popular character in South Korea where I live. This appears to have nothing to do with Peanuts comic strips or Charlie Brown cartoon specials or even with any of the other characters from his universe and everything to do with the beagle being cute, clever and funny. There's some appreciation for Woodstock as well though he always feels like more of a throw in than anything else. And you know something? Koreans are right to ignore virtually everything about Peanuts beyond Snoopy.

I used to read collections of the comics and I'd watch the cartoons but I don't recall getting much out of it. A Charlie Brown Christmas may well be an seasonal favourite for many but I typically come away from it feeling more depressed than the title character. Linus reciting a Bible verse at the end means nothing to this grizzled old atheist (and, indeed, failed to do much for me even when I was young and unsure as to what I believed) while the other kids are a bunch of losers (except of course for Pig Pen). I watch it and find myself on Snoopy's side since he's the one only just doing his thing trying to win a Christmas decorating contest.

So, Snoopy's great but the world he comes out of leaves a lot to be desired, not unlike the unspeakably bad single by The Royal Guardsmen that trades on his name. It had originally been one of those awful historic pop songs that was eventually adapted to include references to the dog from Peanuts, making it, in effect, a novelty song with two novelties (when one is bad enough). The song goes for a full minute before getting to Snoopy's involvement. (Hey, if you're going to re-write a future pop hit you might as well do so with as little effort as possible) There's a reference to the Great Pumpkin — because why the hell not? — but nothing else from the mind of the great Charles M. Schultz managed to make it in.

"Snoopy vs. the Red Baron" isn't quite as annoying as Sheb Wooley's equally diabolical "The Purple People Eater" but at least it had a bit of a tune to it and, even though it falls flat on its face in this regard, I can imagine there being an idea that it might appeal to kids. Nothing of the sort applies to The Royal Guardsmen's biggest hit. The pop world had long since aged out of these hokey tales of gallant soldiers but no one cared to inform co-songwriters Phil Gernhard and Dick Holler. Yet, there was a narrowing market for this kind of charmless novelty drivel and they were there to fill it. Peantus fans and First World War buffs could finally agree on a pop song.

Snoopy was an iconic character even in the sixties so it's more than a little curious that The Royal Guardsmen chose to keep him off the cover this single. (Or maybe it's odd that future Guardsmen releases did include his likeness) I imagine it was down to intellectual property issues. Perhaps Schultz relented when this became a huge hit. Whatever the case may be, it's yet another example of Snoopy being used to carry a creative endeavor that few would be interested in without him. Here in South Korea a K-Pop update of "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron" might do well just so long as they made it all about the puppy at the expense of everything else.

Score: 1