The Newbeats: "Bread and Butter"

September 15, 1964 (1 week)

"The review you had on "Bread and Butter" which was merely a three-word review, just said 'Shit and Butter'".

As you may have noticed, there's been a significant upswing in the quality of number one hits in 1964 compared to previous years. Where there is normally a mix of classics, average offerings and garbage, the number of high spots has been heavily outweighed so far this year. Obviously, The Beatles lead the way with four singles averaging a score of 9 but there have also been superb offerings from The Dixie Cups, The Beach Boys, The Four Seasons, Jan and Dean, The Supremes and The Animals.

But not everything so far has hit. The poppy British Invasion stuff not recorded by Lennon, McCartney, Harrison and Starr is indifferent at best with the nadir being The Dave Clark Five's pathetic "Bits and Pieces". Johnny Rivers' "Memphis" is another one I could give or take. But that's just four out of fourteen so far that are in the bad-to-all right range which is an excellent average so far.

And yet here comes a single so utterly annoying, so bereft of anything salvageable that it damn near ruins everything before it. Well, not quite. It doesn't actually destroy the legacy of what is an undeniably great year for pop music but it does provide a welcome reminder that there's always a room on the charts for godawful crap no matter how strong the competition.

The one thing in its favour is the sneaky feeling that maybe "Bread and Butter" is just your average, mediocre single that only seems rotten because of all those mighty singles that came before it. I wondered this but the fact that I couldn't get through its two minute run time without wishing to puncture my eardrums brought these suspicions to rest. "Bread and Butter" is the shits. As unfunny  as "The Purple People Eater", as sickening as "Paper Roses" and as a much of a slog to get through as "Donald, Where's Your Trousers?". Those three all suck something awful but this might well be worse. There isn't even the glimmer of a passable song tucked away somewhere in there.

Time for something decent. Luckily, it was 1964 so there was still lots more of the good stuff. Bring it on.

Score: 1