Little Eva: "The Loco-Motion"

August 13, 1962 (2 weeks)

In its first quarter century, "The Loco-Motion" was a major hit three times: by Little Eva in 1962, by Grand Funk Railroad in '74 and by Kylie Minogue in '87/'88. Since then, nothing. You'd think there would have been a sweet R&B girl group version in the nineties, a downbeat post-indie offering in the early 2000's and at least one EDM rendition since then. (For that matter, am I the only one who feels disappointed that it has never been mashed up with Kraftwerk's "Trans-Europe Express"?) A once bankable hit and no one in nearly forty years wants to have anything to do with it. What's the matter with the modern world of pop?

"The Twist" is the most popular and best remembered but there were many other dance craze hits back in the early sixties. (In addition, singles like "The Hustle" revived this trend in the disco era) It wasn't even Chubby Checker's sole attempt as the much more forgettable "Pony Time" gave him a second number one on the Hot 100. Dee Dee Sharpe's "Mashed Potato Time" was a major hit in the spring of '62 (kept off the top spot of the CHUM chart by The Shirelle's "Soldier Boy"). A group called The Orlons had their sole hit with "The Wah-Watusi". (Not every dance fad spurned a novelty pop song to accompany it even though you'd think that "Swimming on the Dancefloor" pretty much writes itself)

Oddly enough, "The Loco-Motion" isn't quite a part of this tradition. Far from being the thing that "everybody's doing", it wasn't a dance move at all but a pop hit which contrived to create one. It really tells you about the kind of roll songwriters Carole King and Gerry Goffin were on that they could fabricate a dance sensation and then have it immortalized in one of their most endearing works. But while the song would take off, the dance itself never became the thing to do.

I don't know if it played a role at all but there could have been a little too much prodding on the part of Little Eva (and then Mark Farner and then Kylie Minogue). Chubby Checker encourages his baby to do this twist of his but he doesn't hammer the point home; by contrast, Eva sounds like she's doing some serious arm twisting — see what I did there? — in order to get people to do this loco-motion with her. "I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance": since when was dancing supposed to be the equivalent of getting kids to eat their vegetables? It's not unlike that person at a party or wedding reception who's always trying to get others to join them in behaving like a giant dick on the dancefloor rather than doing what sensible people do in such situations, ie getting absolutely wasted and making an even bigger dick of onself.

None of Eva, Farner or Minogue have or had especially good voices but that's not we've come for anyway. Which begs the question: the dance move is stupid and pointless, the lyrics serve little purpose and the singers aren't anything special so what are we here for? Simple, the good times. Like "Take the 'A' Train", "Sing Sing Sing" and "Rock Around the Clock" before it and "Dancing Queen", "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" and "Back to Life" since, it is the sound of pure joy. You don't even have to enjoy dancing to be into it. In the end, "The Loco-Motion" is a song less about a dance fad than it is about itself and glorious pop music in general. "It even makes you happy when you're feeling blue": great songs are able to accomplish this far more effectively than the twist, the mashed potato or the watusi ever could.

Finally, a word on the title. It is but one of three great songs known as "Locomotion". Little Eva's wasn't even the first with "Locomotion" by John Coltrane (from his breakthrough album Blue Train) predating it by five years. In the eighties, synth-pop group Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark — aka OMD — had a UK Top 10 hit with a "Locomotion" of their own. A message to up and coming bands out there: write a song called "Locomotion", it's bound to be a hit. (Failing that, cover one or more of them or, better yet, mash them up...uh, mash-ups are still a thing, right?)

Score: 8