I like to think that Christian music wasn't always so naff. There must surely been a time when devotion to Christ could be expressed more elegantly than simply "Jesus Is a Friend of Mine". or "I Found a Friend in Jesus" and "Jesus Is Just All Right" (don't go overboard with the praise there, pal). There was once a time when Gregorian Chants and Handel's Messiah made praising the Lord something you might want to listen to but clearly today's finest creative minds in music have better things to be getting on with.
"The Three Bells" isn't a Christian song per se — or, if I'm being super generous, it doesn't necessarily have to be one. Jesus isn't mentioned so I guess there's that. Still, the village chapel sure plays an important part in the song's narrative. It begins with the infant Little Jimmy's baptism in which we are reminded that we shouldn't be "led into temptation". We are then escorted ahead a few years to his wedding in which we are once again instructed to not be "led into temptation". Finally, there's Jim's funeral where the congregation is told not to (you guessed it!) be "led into temptation". Babies, don't be tempted by all that breast milk; newlyweds, don't be tempted by that dildo in your wife's goody drawer; corpses, don't be tempted to shag all those sexy angels up in heaven. You know what? I'm starting to think this is a Christian song after all — and it necessarily has to be one at that!
Simplistic music can often work. There isn't much to fellow CHUM chart number one "Come Softly to Me" by The Fleetwoods (who operated in a not dissimilar two-girls-and-a-guy trio setup, albeit one composed of high school friends rather than siblings) but it's so lovely and delicate that it's virtually impossible to dislike. You can hear real teenage angst and longing in it, even if they are just barely hinted at. By contrast, there's competence to "The Three Bells" but not a whole lot else. Simplistic in this instance is just code for "deeply boring".
This Jimmy Brown guy seems miserable — either that or I'm projecting how I'd be feeling if the only things worth noting about my life revolved around those three times my name got mentioned in church. Think of all the things that happened in his life that weren't even glossed over in this account: taking his first steps, going to school, learning to ride a bike, his first crush, getting a job, having children of his own, trips that he may have taken outside of his peaceful valley town. The title character from The Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby" accomplished no less in her sad life than Jim did, the difference is that Paul McCartney had the decency to depict her as tragically as possible; The Browns as well as its many songwriters and translators (it was originally a Swiss-French tune called "Les trois cloches", a fact that I ought to have brought up by now but for the fact that (a) I forgot to do so and (b) I don't give a shit) seem to want us to revere old Jim his seemingly pointless, temptationless, church going existence.
Am I too cynical for something like "The Three Bells"? Possibly but there are a number of songs which I consider to be poignant which you may look down upon. I have long been a sucker for noted Bible-thumper Cliff Richard and his 1990 yuletide hit "Saviour's Day", a single despised by many individuals with taste in music nearly as good as mine. It has never done anything to convince me of God's existence but I buy Cliff's conviction and can kind of see why some might dig the kind of Christianity he peddles. Not so with The Browns and "The Three Bells". Fair dos if a life of prayer and devotion meant everything to Jimmy Brown but it means squat to me.
Score: 2
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