It was perhaps with this howler in mind that I took my Korean wife confusing The Beatles' "Across the Universe" for Glenn Medeiros' notorious eighties' hit in good humour instead of being appalled. (Both songs having choruses beginning with "nothing's gonna change..." is, if anything, more understandable than mixing up The Kinks and Barry Manilow; before you say anything, yes I have composed a mash-up entitled "Nothing's Gonna Change My Universe", which I sung to her on her birthday a few years ago; if anyone happens to be interested in recording it, please let me know and I'll send you the lyrics) I could very well be wrong but I suspect that John Lennon would have found this mistake to be amusing too.
A good deal less embarrassing was that I always used to get the two well known pop songs with the word 'lollipop' in the title mixed up: the present single by The Chordettes — and, in Britain, The Mudlarks — and "My Boy Lollipop" by Millie Small. (Again, there's a potential mash-up if it hasn't already been done) Naturally, this was down to the hard candy on a stick rather than the quality of the two records, which couldn't have differed more in that respect. "My Boy Lollipop" is frequently cited as the first major international pop hit to emerge out of Jamaica but it's a great song even if its historic significance is ignored. Millie Small's story is a sad one but hopefully her family is proud of what she accomplished. Even if she never did anything beyond her signature hit, she would have a tremendous legacy.
Unfortunately, I will not have the chance to write about "My Boy Lollipop" in the future. While it would top the CHUM charts, it only managed to make runner up spot on the RPM listings, which was by then had become the official national pop survey of record. Instead, I am reduced to padding out this meager entry on a pop song I really can't stand by praising one that I love. (For the record, I would have scored "My Boy Lollipop" an 8) But let's finish up by crapping on the worst number one to date (though I don't imagine it will hold the crown for very long; there are a few chart toppers coming up that I am not looking forward to having to listen to but which I am looking forward to crapping all over)
As a boy "Lollipop" seemed like a lot of fun. I paid no attention to its verses and was simply happy to repeat the chorus as well as make that distinctive popping sound by hooking my thumb into the side of my mouth and abruptly pulling it out. While that side of things still appeals, it's just a shame everything else going on here is so pitiful. Their harmonies are flat but that's okay because it's bursting with humour — or so we are meant to believe. The whole thing just makes my skin crawl and I can't get through its two minutes and ten seconds without the overwhelming urge to turn it off. Was "Mr. Sandman" always this rotten too? I would investigate but I think I've put myself through more than enough, thank you very much.
Score: 2
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Can Con
So, "Lollipop" is dreadful but at least there's an engaging slice of rockabilly from Sudbury, ON native Terry Roberts. I'd never heard of him either but he and backing band The Deans make me wonder why they've been such an obscurity despite hitting the CHUM Top 10 with "Oh Lonesome Me". He sounds rather too American for my tastes ("...I thought of everything from A to zee"? I know it rhymes but come on!) but his voice is strong and it's easy to imagine the choppy C&W chords morphing into some killer bar band rock. Maybe that's what everyone in Bermuda and much of the Caribbean saw in him in the seventies. Their gain was our loss.
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