Brooklyn Bridge: "Worst That Could Happen"

February 17, 1969 (1 week)

("Worst That Could Happen" brings the total number of Jimmy Webb compositions to reach number one in Canada to four. The others are "Up, Up and Away", "MacArthur Park" and "Wichita Lineman". Yes, one of these is not like the others)

(Which one am I referring to? Well, even though I do not care for "Up, Up and Away" one bit, at least it has a familiarity to it. The same goes for "MacArthur Park" and "Wichita Lineman": like 'em or not, a Webb song should leave its mark on the public. We can crap all over "I'll never have that recipe again" but we remember it which is a triumph in and of itself)

(But "Worst That Could Happen" is incredibly plain, even for a milquetoast songwriter like Webb)

(Also, "Worst That Could Happen"? Shouldn't it really be "The Worst That Could Happen" or even "(It's the) Worst That Could Happen"? I notice that on The 5th Dimension's superior original it is indeed credited as the former so they got the song right in more ways than one; "Worst That Could Happen" just seems lazy)

(Speaking of which, they may not have done much with "Up, Up and Away" but The 5th Dimension's version of this isn't too bad. The singing is much better but anything would be an improvement on the phlegmy vocals of Brooklyn Bridge leader Johnny Maestro; have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when singers sound like they just drank a great big glass of milk?)

(Did you know that the word for an eleven piece group is a 'hendectet'? You may also use the term 'undectet' but I'd rather not since it sounds like an organization that is specifically not a dectet (a ten piece); I'm surprised no one went with 'eleptet', unless that happens to be the word used for a musical act comprised entirely of elephants)

(These Brooklyn Bridge people were smart to exploit Webb's notoriety at the time. It really tells you about his nibs' songwriting imperial period that this nothing of a song could do so well even when record by an even bigger nothing of a band. Talent borrows, genius steals and hopelessness leaches off others)

Score: 3