December 30, 1963 (3 weeks)
Misheard lyrics are one of my side passions as a lifelong music nerd. That said, I think I'd rather not know I'm getting the words wrong to some of my favourite songs. The magic is lost when you discover that the line you've been singing along with isn't actually what you assumed it to be. On the other hand, a good mondegreen transcends even the most talented of wordsmiths: I am so accustomed to "there's a wig I know" in "Louie Louie" that I couldn't even tell you what the actual line is unless I look it up. (I will, however, acknowledge that it could be "Whig" instead of "wig", just in case the song has something to do with eighteenth century British politics, rather than eighteenth century hairpieces)
"All I want is to be your thing and a night that lasts for years..."
Sometimes changes are subtle but still alter something that can't be replicated. I love me some Roxy Music, especially their early stuff, and even some of Bryan Ferry's solo work is pretty good but he flubbed "All I want is the real thing..." because it's nowhere near as potent as "...to be your thing...". Now, I should admit that this is looking at it through a twenty-first century lens when using the word 'thing' to describe a couple being together is commonplace. (Characters on a TV sitcom will sometimes refer to their new relationship as a 'thing') Nevertheless, I think it's a genuinely better line. To "be your thing" is to have some kind of vague relationship — committed or casual, devoted or toxic, loving or lustful — while the "real thing" is just a clear case of expectations getting way out of control. Is that the secret to misheard lyrics: that they allow us to contribute to the songwriting?
"With my Cherry Coke, walls come tumbling down..."
Of course Paul Weller wrote something else. There isn't much humour in his work — even if "my old man was a dustperson till he got the shove..." is still a funny line, especially with his nonchalant delivery — and he wasn't really the type to name drop products in his songs. He was, however, very much the type to compare himself to Jericho. I must confess there's projection in this one: the idea of celebrating a revolution with a refreshing cherry cola beverage does appeal to me. Wild Cherry Pepsi if I had my druthers but I'll take what I can get, especially if and when western neo-liberalism is on the verge of collapse.
"The girl with colitis goes by..."
Colitis? Seriously?? There are people out there who thought that was the actual lyric in "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"? The late John Fred may have been a lazy bugger in not checking the Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band sleeve but at least "Judy in Disguise" is a plausible error to make. Of course, someone had to have misheard it this way but how did it become one of the standard examples of the pop music mondegreen, along with "hold me closer, Tony Danza" and "excuse me, while I kiss this guy"? It has become not so much the line everyone gets wrong as it is the one you always hear about everyone getting wrong.
"Say it loud, say it clear, you can whistle as well as you hear..."
A number of years ago, I had a blog that I was doing to commemorate the year I spent in the UK with my family. It covered a mix of my experiences as well as the music of 1988 and '89. Each entry's title came from lyrics to pop songs of the time. For one of that January's entries, I chose the huge hit from Mike + The Mechanics, "The Living Years". For some reason I can no longer remember, I Google searched the lyrics and discovered that I'd been getting it wrong for over thirty years. I was crestfallen for a time but I eventually got over it. "You can listen as well as you hear" may indeed make far more sense but I'm too far gone at this point to change my ways. Whatsmore, the world would be a much better place if whistling was just as easy as hearing.
"Louie Louie, oh no, you take me to where ya outta go..."
I type the correct opening line from The Kingsmen's signature hit single and I know that I am going to forget it as soon as I publish this review. Is it really a misheard lyric if absolutely no one hears it the right way? Also, deliberately slurring the lyrics makes it mispronounced not misheard. We've been hearing it right all along, thank you very much. No wonder there were rumours these collegiate frat boy garage rockers were covertly trying to sneak in some foul language by making the words so incomprehensible. And when you've got yourself such an insanely catchy, ass kicking song like "Louie Louie" who the hell is going to worry about the damn lyrics anyway? I mean, apart from a silly music nerd such as myself...
Score: 9
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Can Con
"From Vancouver Island to the Alberta Highland..."
Uh, what??? The province I was born and raised in has been called a lot of things but "Highland" is one I've never heard applied. And no, it's not a misheard lyric — and I should know considering I just read the words. We have the Foothills which begin on the west part of Calgary and they lead into the Rockies but Highland isn't something I'm familiar with. The Raftsmen hailed from Quebec so I suppose they can be forgiven for being unaware of Western Canada (either that or they were in dire need of something to rhyme with the word 'island'). "Something to Sing About" was a minor Top 50 hit on the CHUM charts for a couple weeks in the early part of the new year. Not really my thing though I will concede I can imagine it going down a treat at a Cape Breton watering hole. Also, I'm missing home and I despise Trump so it's just the kind of thing I need to hear right about now. Plus, I'm sure those Alberta Highlands would have been gorgeous had they ever existed.
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